For Nepalis, every bit in life is celebration. Sixth day of the birth is a ceremony, then comes naming ceremony. That is followed by rice-feeding, sacred-thread wearing and marriage ceremonies. Then there are ceremonies at different age points of the person. And finally there is death which is again observed as a ceremony and that too follows a ceremony every year – called Shraddha. You or your kith and kin invite all your loved ones, eat drink and enjoy in these ceremonies.


And there are festivals like Dashain-Tihar, Chhat, Id and Christmas – they all bring jubilations. The moment is worth being oblivious to everything possible from gloomy outlook of the economy, ever-angry face of your prime minister to virtually doomed future of the country. As Nepalis have long tradition of celebration, they don’t normally need advice on how to take out best from festival celebrations. However, in secular Nepal, these celebrations also have to be aptly fitting. So here are some tips to make these celebrations acceptable across all caste, creed and religion:

•      Booze Out : Taking holy bath every morning during the nine days of Navaratri (ir Dashain) and five days of Yama Panchak (Tihar festival that falls after a fortnight of Dashain) are the things of past feudal Nepal. In new Nepal, the tradition of holy water sprinkling has been changed to distilled ‘water’ drinking, uniformly. Old traditional water use was limited only to Hindus, depriving other groups of equal celebration rights. So the new distilled water which is inclusive akin to federal character has replaced the old holy water with vigor and speed. One may or may not be Hindu, put tika or not. But because of this liquid, everybody can equally enjoy the festivities. No need to mention about equally secular feast of food.

Old were the times when certain social groups didn’t eat certain types of meat. Now every meat is acceptable to everyone -- no bars to beef, buff, pork or chicken. This actually adds the pleasure of the festival for reasons of variation in dishes and tastes. So break free, booze out to the fullest. All breathalyzer holding cops will be either of the roads or on similar festive mood as you are.

•     Gamble to the Hilt : Festivals are the time to convert the home living rooms to virtual casinos. For your convenience, the Maoist government has done a cultural revolution by generously reducing the load shedding to 18 hours and then for the festivals to 12 hours a week for festival related cultural activities like gambling, drinking and gang-fighting. Not only that, to extend days of playing dice and card games of marriage, flush or twenty-nine, there will be two days of weekly holidays, beginning soon after Dashain. Moreover, as always, resourceful Nepalis are free to go, at their will, to the casinos so arduously protected by the Maoist cadres.

• Uphold Traditions: Any festival somehow has religious or symbolic value. There used to be Rawan badh street drama, Durga bhajan singings at the neighbourhoods during Dashain or Deusi-bhailo during Tihar. But in essence they were all about making noises to scare away the demons. As that is not suitable for the modern days. Instead, play the music with loudspeakers fully on and dance till midnight so that all the neighbors can also feel that some demons are really on the move.

• Count on the Discounts: Every item you want to buy during these festivals is discounted. Cloth and shoe stores are clearing the stocks and mobile service providers are offering highly discounted rates. Housing companies are coming up with buy-one-get-one offer. So take advantage of this by making an extra bit - send extra SMS, buy extra house or a car. Don’t worry about money. If banks are not lending, find a local cooperative or dhukuti operator. After all, Nepal is the only country where you can get loans for festivals.

• Influence Others: If you are in business and want to ensure big returns with small investment, this is the opportunity. Send gift packages, mainly liquor bottles, to government officials, powerful mediapersons or the people who you think may be useful to you. Any gift given during these festivals will never be deemed as graft or bribe but surely work as exactly the same as the latter does.

• Stay in Liberated Mood : Regardless of inflation, loan or what you do after these festivals, stay cool sipping more chilled beer or whiskey on the rocks and be in full masti mood.

Happy festival season!