In this country, it’s either Congress ruling or the Communists. Even during the monarchy, the Communists somehow managed to grab more chances. Sure, the dominance of Congress and the Communists might have dipped a little, but not by much. Like pigeons finding their way back to the coop, they keep returning to power — even if it means cosying up to unlikely allies!
Nepali Congress has a storied history, stretching over 65 years. But if we’re honest, they’ve actually governed for about 33 years. Congress’ founder, BP Koirala, served as Prime Minister for nine glorious months in 2016 BS (1959 AD), only for King Mahendra to swallow his rule whole in one gulp. Then began the era of “governance suitable for Nepali soil,” where people used “May Congress enter your house!” as a curse. Poor Congress—while others ruled, it packed its bags and fled to India! But, like a soap opera twist, it returned after 30 years of exile, courtesy of the 1990 People’s Movement, to reclaim its position as the “nation’s saviour,” whether in power or opposition.
Over the next 33 years, sometimes the country moved forward, and sometimes Congress. Occasionally, both advanced in unison; other times, they stood still, like an ox stubbornly stuck in the middle of the road! Eventually, the country surged ahead, leaving Congress puffing in the dust. These years became Congress’ epic odyssey—a journey that started in the south, and now, like a wayward sun, seems to be setting in the north!
During these 33 years, Congress was like a shape-shifting entity: stretching over the nation like a circus tent, inflating like a balloon, whispering through like a breeze, freezing solid like snow, or piling up like useless gravel. For the full duration, Congress churned out history that was observed by government clerks, recorded by the media, and occasionally read (or ignored) by parliamentarians. Congress' name adorned posters, books, banners and walls across the country. Its voice echoed on radios, TVs and in documentaries, seeping into government meetings, conferences and even the public’s subconscious. Congress wasn’t just politics; it became a habit — one of those bad habits you just can’t quit. Before we knew it, Congress was in our thoughts, our conversations and even in our stomachs!
In fact, over the years, Congress infiltrated every Nepali like a nagging gastric problem. Take 1991 (2048 BS) as an example: once in power, Congress suddenly realised that the khadi fabric they wore — imported from India — was as coarse and scratchy as their promises, while their bodies were soft and delicate! Congress promptly decided to refine khadi into something thinner, silkier and more luxurious. During the Panchayat days, Congress members endured cold prison floors. But as soon as they tasted power, they vowed to produce high-quality cotton for soft mattresses and fluffy pillows so they could dream sweet dreams of eternal governance.
Problems, of course, abounded. Congress’ numbers were small, but its ambition was immense. As Congress grew, so did the nation’s troubles. By 1990 (2047 BS), it had not only become the nation’s caretaker but also its biggest problem. At first, it set its sights on small sums of money, but soon, development projects turned into lucrative ventures to “roll up the country and pocket the profits”. It occasionally formed commissions to address issues, collected reports, and then, if inconvenient, tossed them straight into the dustbin. Eventually, Congress and the nation’s problems became indistinguishable twins, growing side by side!
Congress spoke of socialism but wore the shiny suit of capitalism underneath. Nepotism, however, was its true religion, and other parties soon followed its gospel. Under the guise of promoting industry, Congress indulged in “creative subsidies” and “unequal opportunity gardening”. For 33 years, the nation struggled to understand what Congress truly was. Even Congress couldn’t figure itself out! Anything not quite right-wing? Congress. Not fully left-wing? Congress. Not in the centre? Congress. Slightly off-centre? Still Congress. Congress morphed into more forms than a cloud on a windy day!
Over time, Congress ascended to divinity. It became omnipresent—behind every chair, in front of every chair, even underneath. The chair itself became Congress’ guiding philosophy! And for 33 years, it wobbled on this principle like a drunken stool.
History will testify that Congress perfected the art of balance. Its manifestos were bedtime stories, its actions unspeakable truths. What it claimed was never real, and what was real was always somehow wrong!
It planted trees while clear-cutting forests through contracts. It offered relief only to claw it back through taxes. It showed enthusiasm for policy-making but shut its eyes when it came to execution.
The nation became a temple of privatisation, yet Congress forgot to install the idol of fair competition. While refining its contract system, it pampered its loyalists but never empowered industries. It forgot the country, remembered the party and within the party, the leaders reigned supreme. Only the ‘Dai’ and ‘Bhauju’ at the top grew rich and fat, while the workers’ dissent was replaced with deafening applause.
Congress championed socialism but quietly nurtured capitalism. It propped public enterprises against private ventures, stood between them like a referee, but only fuelled the chaos. It neither acted, nor let others act. It praised self-reliance while begging for foreign aid. It promised opportunities for the young but handed tickets to the old. Winners became parliamentarians, losers became ministers! Those ineffective at the centre were sent to the provinces, and those unfit even there were made ambassadors!!
Promises were made and promptly forgotten. Those whose promises Congress fulfilled didn’t believe in them anyway. Congress listened to the people but obeyed foreign powers.
For 33 years, Congress mastered the art of teetering equilibrium. When the north became strong, it weakened the south. When the south gained ground, it weakened the north.
Despite all this, Congress’ contributions cannot be dismissed. Calculating its gains and losses might require divine intervention—or at least a very sharp brain.
Thus, Congress is eternal. Its flaws will persist; its virtues will ebb and flow. As long as indecision, delays, biases, favouritism, pretension, greed, and corruption thrive in this country, Congress will remain invincible. Got it?
(This article was originally published in January 2025 issue of New Business Age Magazine.)
